John Bilsborough 2002

  Androcles - that's the name of our hero.
Not a King, not an Earl, nor a Duke,
nor Prince Charming, nor th'Emperor Nero,
nor his coachman, not even his cook.

Long ago, far away, says the story,
lived an overworked, downtrodden slave,
who was blessed with his moment of glory,
and ensconced in the ranks of The Brave.

Now, in terms of the social hierarchy,
he were nowhere... down bottom of't heap,
"Enough!" he says, "Stuff this malarkey!"
And he scarpered, while't boss were asleep.

Into 't forest he went, through the greenery,
past pitfalls and crocodile lakes -
there was no time to take in the scenery,
what with spiders and scorpions and snakes...

and... eyyyy-upppp, it's a lion! Oh, dear...
But what to do? Face 'im! Aye, but...
Then the lion says "Now then, look here,
there's a thorn, sithee, stuck in me foot."

Didn't say that, exactly, like I did,
But Androwcles didn't need telling twice,
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