His attention was quite undivided...
and he pulled out the thorn in a trice.

"There you are," he says, friendly but quaking,
as't Lion lets out a gert roar...
"What, Androcles, lad, why art shaking?
It's not tea-time till quarter past four.

Nay, I'm joking. I'm everso grateful, and if...
Ey Up! It's time to move on.
The hunters are out.. " With this fateful,
though ill-timed, advice, he were gone.

As a horde of curmudgeonly yokels,
came trampling through't forest, this way,
"Glad I'm not a lion" says Androwcles.
"We're not hunting for lions, today".

We're looking for keen volunteers,"
says the slave driver, cracking his whip,
"So, get in line, no time for tears,
Cos you're off for a ride on me ship."

First they're chained up with shackles and pollocks
and as they go trudging on board,
Centurion shouts "Which one's Androllocks?"
then gives 'im a jab wi' 'is sword.
  "I've a nice job lined up for you, later,
an exciting day-out, in the sun,
in a world-famous amphi-thee-ater,
That's noted for fresh air and fun,

what is seeking for further amusements....
That should suit a fit feller like you.
We have all of the usual inducements,
if you don't quite agree... oh, you do?"

So, that Saturnsday, fanfare of trumpets,
the Emp'ror, with Home Guard in tow,
with his pals and imperial strumpets,
came for't Royal Variety Show.

He were sat on his throne, eating toffees,
as befits a Commander in Chief,
in his robes, with his baton of office,
(with the equiform finial motif.)

And he says "Let the battles begin!"
One and all filled the stadium with cheers -
They'd have raised the roof, if there had been one,
then't centurions rattled their spears...

And all't senators, commoners, yeomens,
the nobles, the great and the good,
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