GREAT UNCLE JACK'S
CHANNEL TUNNEL

by
John Bilsborough 1970

  It were advertised in't papers, asking tenders, in advance,
For digging of a tunnel, from Old England o'er to France.
Now Wimpy said "900 million". Parkinsons said same,
And so did Alf. McAlpine, but one fine day there came
A postcard from a firm, I dare say, hitherto unknown,
As worked on roofs and grant jobs,
Up to three miles outside Colne.

"Dear Sir", it said, "I and my Dad, are very proud to be
J.Arthur Scatterthwaite and Son, Established nineteen three
"And we," said he,"my dad and me, are very pleased to quote
For 59 pounds ten, plus costs, (two shovels and a boat).
Assuring you of all our best attention we remains,
J. Arthur Scatterthwaite.
P.S. We also unblock drains.

The Minister for Tunnels, whilst quite happy at the price,
Thought, before he signed the contact, that he'd better get advice.

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