John Bilsborough

People used to say that Bungers-up of Ratholes
was about as odd as occupations got,
and that jobs involving rissoles
or the peas in p'licemen's whistles
were eccentric - well now, next to us, they're not!

Cos we practice a peculiar profession,
that would numb the nerves of any normal nerd,
one that reconciles a recondite obsession
with a talent and a taste for the absurd...

We're the Snappers-up of senseless situations,
we're the Chroniclers of cracker-barrel craft,
we're Observers of life's obscure occupations,
donnish devotees of dilettant and daft,

We expatiate on egregious enterprises,
recording rare and raffish recreations,
jotting jingles about jobsworths, in all guises,
we're the Mappers-out of mystic machinations...

And although we're quite devoted to our mission,
it's so strange to think, whatever might befall,
that in spite of all our zeal and erudition,
it is us who have the oddest job of all.

The end