pilfering that has been going on in the Town Hall of late. We all know that several marriages are coming forward in the early spring, and I am sure we all wish the parties concerned every good wish that we can, but I must say I was very surprised and hurt on visiting the Town Hall on Thursday to find that nearly all the chairs and tables, half the library and most of the expensive floor coverings had been, so to speak, spirited away; and only yesterday I was horrified to view from my mayoral residence a pantechnicon drawn up outside the Town Hall with the reading-desk, a statue of Lady Bargain in bronze and the new organ on it. And without casting aspersions where they are not due, I may say that I noticed this morning that the pipes that have been laid in the High" Street look surprisingly like the pipes of the new organ, and I can only ask the Town Council to return their ill-gotten drains at the earliest possible moment. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I am sure you will realize that it is impossible for me to carry on my high office, as Mayor if you remove my Town Hall in this wholemeal and piecemeal way. I am only so sorry the Lady Mayoress cannot be present on this happy occasion, but unfortunately she met with an accident on Tuesday last, after the sewing-bee at the King's Head. She fell down the front steps and sprained her face, but I am glad to say she is now enjoying her   usual spirits and also that she is deriving great benefit from a special diet of tinned salmon which, I may remind you, ladies and gentlemen, may be purchased at my Emporium for the very low figure of 7d. and 5d. per tin, both pink and red, whichever you prefer.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I have much pleasure in declaring this ground well and truly prepared to receive the foundation-stone, which I hope to have the pleasure of laying whenever Lady Bargain can get her hands on the ready to pay for it, and I can only say in conclusion that I hope I leave you one and all, in the pink, at 5d.


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