found that they were crammed full of horses. I led the one at the end out and they all fell down. So I thought that perhaps Maudie was the best of them really. In any case, I took her home and we fed her up and she had early nights and all that and she got very much stronger, but she's still very delicate. Of course, you've got to be very careful when you're buying a horse. A friend, of mine wanted a race-horse, and he met a man who said he'd sell him one for ten pounds. He said it was very cheap, because the horse had one fault and that was it was passionately attached to cabbages, and his wife was very annoyed because it would go into the garden and sit on the cabbages. So my friend said that it was quite all right because he lived by the sea and hadn't got a garden; so there weren't any cabbages. He bought the horse, but when he took it down to the seaside, as soon as it saw the sea, it dashed into the water and sat down. He was very upset about this, and when he met the man he said the horse must be insane, because it would run into the sea and sit down; and the man said, " How awfully silly of me, I quite forgot to tell you it's awfully fond of fish," which only shows you how idiotic horses are. Of course, I knew we were going to have difficulty with Maudie before the race, because the night before she didn't sleep a wink and kept burying her face in her hoofs, so I guessed that she had one of   her bad heads. I thought it better to give her an aspirin, but it's awfully difficult to give a horse an aspirin, because you have to blow the tablet down its throat with a tube, but in this case Maudie blew first—which was so awkward. By the time she'd swallowed one tablet I had swallowed twenty, so I thought we'd better stop. Then we had great difficulty in the paddock. I was the first to be weighed in, and when I got into the machine it all sort of crumpled up. The pointer whizzed round, and instead of a penny coming out a whole lot of springs and things started darting about all over the place. Of course, I said, as I say now, that the machine was a weak one, but the Stewards were furious, and when they saw Maudie, they sent for an R.S.P.C.A. Inspector, and he said that he'd have her scratched, but of course she's very quick and got in first and bit his ear off. That took a good deal of smoothing over, I can tell you. Then when we were all lined up for the start, Maudie was very eager to get off first and got all tied up in the starting-tape. Sne nearly hanged one of the official starters—dashed about like a dog with a bone. She wouldn't put him down—it was so embarrassing for me. But our real difficulty started when we got to the fences, because you see Maudie can't jump, and it is so necessary in the Grand National. I mean—you see—Maudie doesn't know when she's beaten—she
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