FURTHER ADVENTURES OF
MAUDIE AT THE DERBY

by
John Tilley


  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I've been asked to say a few words with regard to my experiences in the Derby. I really feel very diffident in saying anything, because I advised all my friends to put their entire underclothing on my mare Maudie, and as you know, she not only lost the race, but lost herself . . . which was so very trying for everybody. If you remember, after the Grand National, I sold her to a well-known firm of shirt-makers for stud purposes, but after a couple of weeks they returned her—she wasn't at all satisfactory. Of course, she never was a friendly horse. ... I really didn't know what to do with her after this, so I turned her loose in the garden, but by the time she'd made four mare's nests in the tulip bed—and of course, they'd come to nothing, being mare's nests—I thought I really should have to make a change. And so I had a consultation with my Aunt Amelia—that is my aunt by marriage on the Scottish side of the family—and my brother-in-law Claud—that is the Reverend Claud—he is the vicar of our local church—and they were very keen to enter Maudie for the Derby—in fact, my brother-in-law Claud was so wrapped up with the idea that on the Sunday before Derby Day he announced the first hymn as, " The Voice that breathes o'er Epsom," and created quite a local scandal. Of course, I had the greatest difficulty in getting back from Epsom :
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