Leonard Pounds

Nah, I'm a costermonger an' I lives in Mangey Mews
I likes a bit o' sport at times, and don't say no to booze
Last month it was serjistid in the Bull - our fav'rit pub
That all us 'awker blokes sh'd form a costers' football club
The hidea caught on splendid, and we striteway then and there
Decided on a meeting wiv our parson in the chair
Of all the things wot 'appened I'll tell yer if yer like
I can easy spare the time becos us chaps is out on strike.

We 'eld this football meetin' in our Heast Hend Hinstitute
And the barrer boys from Bow to Aldgate came to cheer or 'oot
Ixcitement come quite early w'en the chairman calls out 'Now
The fust thing is the capt'in.' Then commenced a frightful row
Pat Murphy jumped up on a chair and shouted frightful loud
'I'm goin' ter be ther capt'in and I challenge all the crowd.'
Then 'Spikey' Bates sez, 'No. I'm better lokkin' far than you
And choose a 'andsome figger-'ead is what all big clubs do.'

So Bates and Murphy then commenced to bash each other flat
At the finish Bates was not a better lookin' bloke than Pat
Well, Murphy, after three more fights, obtained the capt'in's job
At the cost of two black-eyes and 'arf the wool from orf 'is 'knob'
'Now we wants the 'Vice'' I sez, when all seemed quiet and nice
But the parson says 'I'm shocked to hear our friend here ask for 'Vice'
Then 'opkins picked 'im up and shoved 'im outside in the rain
And over this vice-capt'incy the fun commenced again.

Jim Jackson banged the chairman's 'ammer jest te stop ther din
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