OUR GRANDPARENTS' YARNS
by
Leonard Pounds and
Cuthbert Clarke (1921)

  Now our grandparents sit in their easy chairs,
With wrinkled-up brows 'neath their silver hairs
Comparing our latter-day ways with theirs
And shaking their heads the while.
Their assertions will all of them go to show
How pure were the people of long ago.
We're told that their standard we're far below;
That mankind then knew no guile.
The yarns that our grandparents spin!
In their day it seems the world was free of sin!
Boys all loved to go to school,
Where they never broke a rule,
Or inserted in the master's chair a pin!
It appears that all young men,
Never stayed out after ten,
And no maiden bared her shoulders at the play!
They possessed no vice or taints-
Just a crowd of earthly saints
Were the folks of our grandparents' day!
Hear our grannies avow, with a wry grimace,
That slang on their tongues never found a place,
And never a maid would her lips disgrace
By cigarette held between.
In quarrels all men a soft answer chose,
Instead of proceeding by violent blows,
To alter the contour of someone's nose,
To vent a revengeful spleen!
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