THE PAINFUL STORY OF
ELVIRA BINNS
by
Lesley Gordon

  The parents of ELVIRA BINNS
Were very glad she wasn't twins,
But that was all, without a doubt,
Her parents could be glad about.
Said Mr. Binns, with hollow wit,
" We'll try and make the best of it.
She might have been," said Mr. Binns,
" Triplets or quadruplets or quins.
When all is said and all is done,
At least the child is only one."

And now, perhaps,
I'd best explain,
The reason for
Her parents' pain ;
And you may judge
If they were right
In thinking her—

—a horrid sight.

The stockings of ELVIRA
Were fastened up with safety-pins,
Her cardigan was tied with tape,
Which gave it such a weary shape.
No buttons held ELVIRA'S shoe,
No laces—-just a spot of glue.
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