IMPOSSIBLE
PRISCILLA PRICE
by
Lesley Gordon

Priscilla Price was dark and wild
A harum-scarum tomboy child
(On second thoughts though, I suspect
That tom-girl would be more correct)
Priscilla's daily occupation
Defying laws of gravitation
Was trying to make both ends meet
Clearly a most ambitious feat

Each morning with abandoned squeals
She'd roll from bed head over heels
And bursting with joie-de-vivre invite
Her elders to a pillow fight
When Miss Dumayne from number three
Arrived one afternoon for tea
That lady was reduced to fits
To see Priscilla do the splits
'I hardly think' said Miss Dumayne
When back at number three again
'I hardly think that Mrs Praice can be
I hesitate to say it - naice.
Unfortunate' said Miss Dumayne
'I think we will not go again'
Then round she went to Mrs Slade
Taking some home-made marmalade
And mentioned on parting at the gate
'I hardly think those Praices quaite -'
Next day the weather being fine
Bearing a jar of cow-slip wine
Made from a family receipt
Went Miss Dumayne to ‘The Retreat'
And in the course of conversation
With no uncommon animation
Was heard to say to Mrs Wool
'Those Praices are impossible.'

But to our heroine again
Still gambling with might and main
And playing leap-frog in the street
With anyone she chanced to meet
See how aghast her Grandpa stands
To watch her walking on her hands
Or sliding down the banisters
Wrapped in her mother's priceless furs
Or draped in Grandma's Shetland shawl
Performing cartwheels in the hall.
'Just look at her' said Grandpa P
'I'm sure she don't take after me.'

I heard in passing from a friend
Of poor Priscilla Price's end
They don't know what she meant to do
For nobody can find a clue
But in some quiet secluded spot
She tied herself into a knot
Which, to the best of my belief
Was proved to be a Sailor's Reef
A knot which no one can untie
Though everyone has had a try.

Up in the loft Priscilla Price
Among the trunks and boxes lies
Adorned with bags of lavender
For fear the moth should get at her
For Mrs Price was heard to say
She could not throw the child away
And so she must be kept in store.
It's lucky they have several more.


The end