ALBERT AND THE CONDOM
by
Mike Harding

  There’s a famous seaside place called Morecombe
That’s famous for sweet FA
Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom went there
With young Albert on charabanc one day.

A right little wart was young Albert
He was allus in trouble tha knows
Cos he’d faff about and dismantle a thing
And break it to see how it goes.

Aye, a right little wazzock was Albert
A right obnoxious little prat
He’d got so many belts from his father
That the top of his head was quite flat.

Now they didn’t think much to Morecombe
It were cold and everywhere were shut
Father said “For an August bank holiday
I think it’s a bit pigging much.

And we’re booked in here for the week
I shall go pigging mad in this dump”
“Oh look on the bright side” said Mother
“We could’ve booked Scarborough for t’month.

Now boarding house where they were stopping
“Sunny Sea View Villa” it was called
Continue Return