Mike Harding

  North Of Oldham South of Diggle there lies a town called Mumps
Where the tripe mines stand just by the washhouse wall
And in that deserted town where the shacks are tumbling down
You can hear the scabby moggies lonesome call

Years ago this town was booming when the tripe rush days were on
And the miners they rolled in from far and near
In the 'Sweaty Clog' saloon they were supping night and noon
Sarsaparilla, liquorice juice and privet beer.
Now she was a good time dancing gal, any tripe miners pal
For a bottle of Brasso she'd love you all night through
She was rough and she was tough, she wore no vest and took black snuff
And was known to all the lads as Cowheel Lou.

Now Lou had one special man, his name was Dangerous Albert
He sucked Fiery Jack and camphorated oil
He wore barbed wire combinations and slept rough on Oldham station
And Wimpy used his dandruff for hardcore.
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