Now the second half got dirty as they were both feeling a bit shirty
Spotty Bum hit Albert with his rubber leg
Cowheel Lou could stand no more, she picked up pianola from floor
Chucked it and killed them both stone dead.

Now north of Oldham south of Diggle, there's a broken hearted gal
Who tends the grave so cold and so bare
For at Clog Hill above the valley where the wind howls night and day
Spotty Bum and dangerous Albert are buried there.

So if you go 'cross Saddleworth Moor where the wind whips up from Diggle
And you think you hear thunder in the east
Its not thunder 'cross those hillocks it's the ghost of those two pillocks
Knocking buggery out of each other with their tambourines.


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