gradely pan of chips on t' stove
And 'e saw this great wakening light up t' back stairs
And 'e spake unto his wife, Sarah, thus and said,
"Hey up Mother, you've left t' bloody light on."
"Nay," she said, "I 'ave not, I switched it off."

And Lot ran up the stairs and there sat on the of the bed,
Writing in a book of gold, in a great wakening light,
with one foot in t' chamber po were th' Archangel Michael.
"'Ow do,"said Lot, "Wot's to do ?"
He said, "It's the Lord." He said. "'E's dischuffed with this place," he said.
"'Ere," he said, "And Gomorrah," he said,
"Down the road," he said,
"Finito Benito, bang, smoke," he said.
"Big 'ole in the sky and God's big balls of fire are comin' right down."
"Ooh, ecky thump!" said Lot.

"I kid thee not," said Michael, "And I've got to tell thee," 'e said
"To flit, begone," 'e said, "Finito Benito," 'e said,
"Fast as you can and don't look back," 'e said,
"Otherwise dire prognostications will befall thee."
  "Ooh," 'e said. "Thank you very much, ta," 'e said.
"Is there owt I can do fer yer? Do yer want a chip butty
or a mash o' tea like, we've just brewed ?"
"No," 'e said, "I must be away down the road
to tell Noah 'e's going to have a wet summer."

And 'e flapped 'is big wings and flew out of t' bedroom window,
Over the Hills of Galilee, wi' t' chamber po still stuck on 'is foot.
And it was written in th' Israeli Times
that a poor unsuspecting shepherd were 'it on th' 'ead by a flying chamber po.

Well Lot descended into t' kitchen,
where the chip pan were blazin' up the wall
And 'is wife accosted 'im on the back of the 'ead wi' t' rolling pin forty times.
"You silly bugger," she said. "Nay, Mother," 'e said,
"I went upstairs and there on the bed," 'e said,
"In a great wakening light was an angel."
She said, "Th' art pissed again."
"Nay," 'e said, "Nay, I tell thee true"
and 'e convinced 'er of the sincerity of the Word of the Lord.
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