But she didn't take care and they slipped - and flew through the air
Causing buggerations, trouble and strife

'Cos they landed on grooms fathers bald patch
And took a big chunk off his head
So he smashed father in gob with his hearing aid
And left her in't jelly half dead

At that the brides mother errupted
Without even excusing herself
And she poked the old fella, with a silver salt cellar
Which wasn't too good for his health

Now the nephews and nieces chucked parkin
And splurted black peas all over t'room
An the in-laws and the out-laws, they battled like buggary
And the brides mother throttled the groom

She were eight foot seven and six foot wide
And arms on her just like a bloke
She'd teeth like they hold the commandments
Ten of em - every one broke!

  Send
' THE WEDDING AT
No. 18 CLEGG STREET '

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