Railway Tales
Whose carelessness cut short a promising
career in espionage.

The dearest wish of Mary Fry
Was to become a female spy
And when they tested out her nerves
And measured up her various curves
The boys in MI5 said, 'She
Is what a female spy should be
As cold as ice, as hard as steel
And yet how soft... here, Colonel, feel
A girl like this would get a plan
From any normal, healthy man.'

Dressed in a simple Lanvin suit
Mary was dropped by parachute
And made a perfect three point landing
Just where Field-Marshal X was standing
“Himmel und Lieberwurst,” cried he
“Das ist indeed my cup of tea.
Achtung! and should the Fuhrer phone
Tell him I wish to be alone.

Within a week of Mary's fall
The plans began to reach Whitehall
A camisole, a brassiere
From Stockholm forwarded by air
Revealed, when warmed, to expert eyes
Things calculated to surprise
But as it was, our General Staff
Could sit and simply laugh and laugh.

Alas, the best of girls may trip
And Mary made a fatal slip
If only she had faced her host
Or not worn what she'd meant to post.

Moral: A working girl can never be
Too careful of her lingerie.
The end