SCHEMES
by
George Ellis & Daisy Hill (1944)

The Brigadier held a pow-wow,
"Gentlemen you see that hill
Good for guns if we can make it,
But first the infantry must take it;
So fourteenth foot-sloggers... Colonel brass hat-will occupy that hill-hmmmm."

The Colonel said to his company officers
"Please observe that hill or ridge,
The Brigadier's in some dilemma,
So tomorrow, sharp at five Ack Emma,
Captain Cocktail with 'K' company will occupy that ridge!"

The Captain said to the platoon commanders
"On your maps, please note that rise,
The C.O., (stout old prewar soldier) has a notion
As I've told you, that we, the cream of the whole battalion,
Should occupy that rise!"

The subaltern said to the sergeant-major, "I say...
you see that thingummy-what-you-may-call
it-how d'you-do-you-know-what-I mean
thingummy over there-that MOUND... well
Just parade a storming party,
Give 'em sandbags-make it hearty,
And let our gallant lipstick eaters occupy that mound!"

The sergeant said to corporal lead swing
"See that excrescence-mound-or knob,
I dunno why the 'ell or wherefore
All I know it's orders therefore,
Take your lousy fourale wallahs... and sit down on that knob!"

The corporal said to private pull thro'
"Ere, you see that hill up top there?
Well now's your chance to flirt wiv' death,
And don't say Horlicks' under your breath.
But shift your ruddy carcase up that ruddy hill-and stop there!"