AUXILIARY SAM
AND HOOK LADDERS
by
W. Montague Everitt
One evening at Station, alarm went off, 'Buzzzzzz'!
And Bloke-What's-In-Charge gave a shout,
'Now hurry up, lads, there's a bit of a do—
'And we don't want the fire to go out.'

The lights went on ' Flash '! and the doors were flung wide
And Firemen appeared by the score ;
And Auxiliary Sam—he jumped up on behind
As Engine leapt through the front door.

When he picked himself up, he jumped on once again
And, with screeching of brake and of tyre,
They tore through the streets bawling, "Sing As We Go "!
Till they got to the scene of the fire.

They smashed in the door with a sledge-hammer blow ;
They set to with hatchets and knives;
And, what with extinguishers, hoses and foam,
They all had the time of their lives.

It wasn't until they had been there an hour
And place was in terrible mess,
They discovered there wasn't no fire there at all...
The darn'd fools had got wrong address.

So right then and there they all started to pack
(The Chief had gone home on a tram)
They searched, high and low for the things they had brought...
Then searched low and high for Our Sam.

But nowhere they searched was our Sam to be found
Till, suddenly, Officer saw
A figure that swayed in the breeze high above...
With Hook Ladder on seventh floor.

He shouted at Sam (for t'were he right enough)
"Now hurry on down, you above!"
And Sam turned and saw him, miles, miles down below...
And he prayed for the Wings of a Dove.

But he couldn't climb up and he couldn't climb down,
So he sat where he was on the sill;
And when he looked up he felt horrible queer...
And when he looked down he felt ill.

They fetched Jumping-Sheet and the lads on the ground
All bellowed at Sammy to jump:
Then, seeing as how he would not budge at all,
They tried sucking him down with the Pump.

But nothing they tried had the slightest effect ;
He sat where he was on the ledge ;
So, as hours became days, just to keep up his strength
They fed him on meat and two veg.

They fed him through hoses on beef and on tripe :
They served him the daintiest snacks...
But, as it was Home Office hose that they used,
Most of it fell through the cracks.

Now I know exactly what you think I'll say...
That Sammy is stuck up there still ;
That, seeing as how he can't climb up or down,
He remains where he was... on the sill.

And, to tell you the truth, I did have it in mind
To leave Sammy perched on the shelf,
But I darn'd well decided I'd prove you were wrong
If I had to go fetch him myself.

He'd been there three months when a Brainwave he had
Which undid this state of affairs :
He cocked his log over, climbed through the hole
And walked down to street—via stairs.
The end