W. Montague Everitt

  T'was Picking-up Drill at the Station :
Instructor spread mat out on floor
And, laying himself horizontal,
He bellowed at Sam with a roar,
"Now pick me up, Sam—got a move on!...
"By raising me first to me knees.
"I only go fourteen-stone-seven
"When weighed in me thems and me these.''

But Sam looked at Bloke on the floor
And, shaking his head, he said, "Nay,
Th' laid th'self down so th' picks th'self up,
T'otherwise th' remains where th' lay."
This made the Instructor so angry
The language he used was first rate :
He called Sam the Son of a Clove-hitch...
And Sam answered, "Figure-of-eight!"

The Super tried artful persuasion...
Said, "Pick him up, Sam, then go home
And, if th' will do as I ask thee,
I'll let thee blow bubbles with Foam."
But Sam would not pick up Instructor;
Instructor would not rise alone:
So Super goes into the Watchroom
And sends for D.O.s on the phone.

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