IT WOULDN'T HAVE
DONE FOR THE DUKE,
SIR.

( Kennington and Wass )
performed & recorded by
Norman Long

  Now, Bill Jones was in trade and retired with a pile
And decided to live in a nobleman's style
He purchased a vast country seat of his own
And hired a new butler to give the place 'tone'.
Now 'Jenkins' 'til recently, had been with a Duke
And this was his constant and crushing rebuke...

"It wouldn't have done for the Duke, sir,
It would never have done for his grace...
The dinners you give are both costly and grand
But the best people don't smoke cigars with a band
And if I might make a suggestion
Jellied eels, sir, are quite out of place.
That wouldn't have done for the Duke, sir
It would never have done for his Grace."

Now Jones did his best to live up to this state
Dispensed with 'high tea' and had dinner at eight.
Bought colours of all the old schools that were good
And wore every one, as a gentlman should.
Plus fours with a bowler and heliotrope tie
Made Jenkins shudder and say with a sigh..."
It wouldn't have done for the Duke, sir,
It would never have done for his grace...
White spats and a boater I critisise less
But never brown boots, sir, with evening dress.
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