'Cos' we've got a little cubby-hole behind the kitchen door,
That'll hold my little Austin Seven.

One day I met a motor-bus that stretched from side to side,
Across the road and held up all the traffic far and wide.
So I just drove underneath it and came out the other side,
In my little Austin Seven.

When driving in the park, a nurse rushed upon me saying,
She said, 'Now don't you move, I'm surprised at you, I am.
She thought I was the baby she'd left sitting in the pram,
In my little Austin Seven.

One day a motor cyclist drove up and stared at me,
"Thank God!" he said, "I've found you, alright now...", said he.
And in the place of where his little sidecar used to be,
He went and fastened my little Austin Seven.

  If I ever want to park it and the police ask what I'm at,
I never have to worry about a little thing like that.
I just bung it in the cloakroom with my overcoat and hat.
My little Austin Seven.

It's an Austin Seven, a little baby Austin,
The cutest little car upon the road.
You can drive it anywhere, you ought to see it camber,
Upstairs, downstairs... in my lady's chamber.

I've got a Ma-in-Law and you know how they jaw.
And she's fourteen stone eleven.
But she has to keep her knees up and it stops her chin from wagging,
In the back seat of my little Austin Seven.

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