Norman Long
I went for a walk in a new pair of trousers
I'd bought at enormous expense,
The weather was warm 
And I felt a bit tired
So I sat down to rest on a fence.

When I tried to get up it was hard
For the fence had, that morning, been tarred!

Do you know how to get tar off trousers?
They're in such a terrible mess 
I've rubbed them with grease 
And I've tried soap and water 
But so far I've had no success.

I've tried them with turps and with petrol
I'm afraid I've gone rather too far,
'Cos I've rubbed and I've scrubbed 
'Til I've cleaned off the trousers...
And all I've got left is the tar!
The end