Paul Wilkinson
Little Jimmy Tattersall
A small time, petty criminal
Began his life of crime before,
He'd reached the tender age of four.

At nursery school he'd nick the toys
Of all the other girls and boys.
He'd take their biscuits, cakes and sweets
And any other dainty treats.

Then on the bus he'd steal the fares
Of all the children sitting there.
And made a tidy little packet
Running a protection racket.

Until the school staff felt compelled
To get the little thug expelled.
Who, now left to his own devices
Indulged himself in further vices.

His parents warned him of their fears
And told him it would end in tears.
"It's time you changed your ways!" said Ma,
"One day, our Jim... you'll go too far!"

And sure enough one fateful day,
Disaster came the young lad's way.
When only twelve years old, he went
And stole a truck of wet cement.

Of course, being just twelve years of age,
He'd never read a single page
On how to drive upon the road
As detailed in the 'Highway Code'.

So down the highway Jimmy sped
Oblivious to all ahead,
Speeding recklessly he went.
With twenty ton of wet cement.

Alas poor Jim, he met his end
Negotiating a bend
But didn't feel a thing at all
When finally he struck that wall.

'Cos like an arrow from a bow
Jim left the dumpster truck below.
And as he flew, it crossed his mind...
'That concrete must be close behind!'

Next day a policemnn found the mound
Of solid concrete on the ground
And from the very top there peeped
A pair of size six, plimsoled feet.

So children, don't be like young Jim
And promise you won't copy him.
'Cos Little Jimmy Tattersall,
Became... a hardened criminal.

The end