"By gum!" said our Sam when he'd settled
But summat smells gradely, up 'ere!"
"Aye," said the King, we were peckish
So bought ourselves fish, chips an' beer."

"Are yer 'ungry, our Sam?" the Queen asked 'im,
'As she started removin' 'er gloves
Then daintily unwrappin' 'The Mirror'
Said, "'Ere... 'ave a chip, me owld luv!"

Sam sat with a big chunk of 'addock,
By 'eck... and 'e felt a reet toff,
'Til the carriage bounced over a pot'ole
And a big piece o' batter dropped off!

"Ooh, Sam!," said t'Queen, "look... you've lost it!"
"Don't worry, I see it!" 'e said.
But as 'e bent down... the 'orse it broke wind
And blew 'is cap, right off 'is 'ead!

By gum!... but it weren't 'alf a cracker,
It echoed round t'street, wall to wall
And the smell, well!... it fair turned Sam's stomach
'E didn't feel too well, at all!
  "Oh, Sam!" said the Queen "I'm so sorry!"
Her voice shook with shock and remorse.
"No problem at all..." Sam said, gaspin',
"To be 'onest... I thought it were t' 'orse!"

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