The following day to Pinwinkle's
A cabinet minister came.
"The country is in a dilemma," he said,
"The dilemma is 'Erbert, by name.

"Every Englishman must do his duty,
We stand with our backs to the wall,
We must win the war, but with Herbert about
We simply can't do it... that's all.

"We've arranged for the lad's deportation,
It was 'ard finding some place to go.
We tried Norway and Sweden and Denmark,
But all of those countries said 'No.'

"We've 'ad to be most diplomatic,
It took much persuasion and tact,
For shipping of 'Erbert to some foreign land
'As the mark of an unfriendly act.

"But we finally did get permission,
To send 'im to 'is Uncle Sam.
'Ere's your ticket... pack up your belongings,
Take your missus and 'Erbert... and scram."

Of course old Pinwinkle was startled,
'E said, "It seems drastic to make
Two innocent parents do penance
For a bio-logical mistake."

But 'e soon seen 'is duty an' done it,
Friendly like 'e took 'Erb by the lug
And said, Stop throwing stones at yer mother!
We're going on a journey, you thug."

So mother put on 'er new bonnet,
And father 'is best Sunday coat,
Then they tied 'Erbert down while they washed 'im,
And then they went down to the boat.

Pa said when 'e looked at the vessel.
"Bah gum, she's a leaky old tub."
But the cabinet minister nodded 'is 'ead
And answered'im, "Aye, there's the rub.

'Y'know accidents 'appen in wartime,
Those U-boats are so 'ard to curb,
And if by a chance you should run across one
We 'aven't lost nothing... just 'Erb."

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