'ERBERT
AND THE ELECTRICITY

by
Paul Gerard Smith


 
No doubt you recall the Pinwinkles
And their son little 'Erbert, the fiend
Who 'ad made their lives one long disaster
From the moment that 'e 'ad been weaned.

For years they 'ad puzzled and fretted
And plotted and cudgeled their brains
For a way to get rid of their 'Erbert
Without getting 'ung for their pains.

One day Father got an idea:
"This will do it," 'e said to 'is spouse,
"I've arrived at the answer to all of our prayers:
'Ow to get rid of 'Erbert, the lou... our son.

"They're building a dam in the valley
With 'igh tension wires all about,
And if 'Erbert should 'appen to grab one of them
It will jolt 'im to jelly, no doubt."

So they packed up a neat picnic luncheon,
And they sang when they thought of the fun.
They took with them a second 'and blanket
To wrap 'Erbert up in, when done.
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