So 'Erb disappeared in a 'ole in the fence
And Pinwinkle said with a sigh
"'Is Ma will be glad when I tell 'er the news,
Let's go watch the 'orses go by."

They elbowed their way through the crowd to the rail
And looking away down the track;
They saw Guinevere was lined up with the rest
And young 'Erb was on Guinevere's back.

Well, Father was stoned, so 'e closed both 'is eyes
And opened them after a while
To see young 'Erb whisper in Guinevere's ear,
And the 'orse answered back with a smile.

"They're off!..." people shouted, and forward they sprang
That is... all except Guinevere;
Then again 'Erb leaned forward and quite nonchalant
Whispered something in Guinevere's ear.

The 'orse merely nodded and let out a snort
And suddenly started to run,
And she 'went by so fast that old Pinwinkle thought
She was somethink shot out of a gun.

When she reached the quarter, the rest of the pack
Was at least a 'alf mile up ahead,
But 'Erbert leaned forward and whispered again
And she passed them as though they were dead.

She came into the stretch doing ninety an hour,
She finished the winner and then...
She kept right on going like mad round the track
Passed the others and finished again.

Again she went round and again passed the rest,
And I give you my solemnest word
She finished again seven lengths out in front
So she came in first, second, and third.

Pinwinkle collected at ninety to one
Oh he was excited no end,
'E reached down and patted young 'Erbert, 'is son,
And gave 'im a tuppence to spend.

The rest of the spectators gathered round 'Erb
To find out just wot 'e 'ad said
To make the 'orse Guinevere do what she did
But 'Erb merely blushed very red.

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