Paul Gerard Smith

  Now in case you've not heard of young Herbert,
The fiend who was Pinwinkle's son.
Let me say he's a blight and a fever,
Everything you don't like... rolled in one.

When he was born, Herbert's parents,
Was torn between love and remorse.
His Mother had wanted a daughter,
His Father a dog or a horse.

Every day Herbert brought on more trouble,
By the cute little things that he did,
'Til his folks thought that they'd given birth,
To a crime wave instead of a kid.

Pa would contemplate Herb with a shudder,
And the sight of him made Ma turn pale.
Till they wondered how they could fix Herbert,
Without getting sent off to the jail.

Well old Pinwinkle read in the papers,
Of kidnappers lurking around,
Who nipped a kid right off his doorstep
And held him for two thousand pound.
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