THE NEAR-SIGHTED UNCLE
by
Paul Gerard Smith


 
I've told you of Mr. Pinwinkle
And Mrs. Pinwinkle, 'is spouse,
An time and again I 'ave mentioned the name
Of their son, little 'Erbert... the louse.

The Pinwinkle clan was quite famous,
There was grandmothers, uncles and aunts,
'Erb's father was proud of a number of them,
But the others 'e looked at askance.

One or two brothers were bishops
While some lived in asylums or jails,
And some made folk wonder 'ow long it 'ad been
Since they swung from a tree by their tails.

But the Uncle in question was Robert,
A rather anonymous sort,
'E was just a bit small to be tallish
And just a bit tall to be short.

'E was one of those average duffers
'Oo don't expect much out of life,
All 'e asked for was three meals a day and a job
And when 'e was ready, a wife.

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