So, one bank 'oliday, 'e took 'er for a stroll
Where the country was vacant and bare
With nothing at all for a person to see
Except for a shroob here and there.

'Twas a place 'e 'ad stoodied, without telling 'er
Till 'e knew every 'ummock and stone,
The road ran right 'ere, and some two miles off there
An ellum tree stood... all alone.

Robert measured the distance and counted 'is steps
And put sticks out to point at the tree
So by just looking down 'e knew just where 'e wos
Wherever 'e 'appened to be.

So, as with Arabella 'e walked down the road
'E suddenly stopped in midflight
And said with an elegant sweep of 'is arm,
"That tree is a wonderful sight."

Arabella looked up, then she looked up again
And said, "Where do you see a tree?"
"Everywhere that I look it's as flat as me 'and
There is nothink, but nothink to see."

Robert pointed 'is 'and in a fatherly way
"That stately old elm," 'e replied.
"There's a rosebush beneath it, Lord bless my soul
There's a pin sticking right in its side."

Arabella was staggered. "Can you see a pin?"
She inquired, almost ready to bust.
"I can," answered Robert. "It's stook in the tree
And it's bent, and it's starting to rust."

"I joost can't believe it," she said in a daze
But Robert went on with a grin,
"There's a tree there all right, and to prove it to you
I'll run over and bring back the pin."

With a hop, skip and jump 'e set out for the tree
A surge of success in 'is 'eart,
For 'e knew with this proof Arabella was 'is
There was nothink could keep them apart.

'E ran like the wind for ten paces or so
And 'e'd 'ave been married by now,
And 'Erb might 'ave 'ad a young cousin or two,
If 'e 'adn't tripped over a cow.

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