'ERBERT PINWINKLE
by
J. Wallace


 
Now Mr. and Mrs. Pinwinkle
'Ad 'eard about Ramsbottoms, 'oo
'Ad their son Albert swallowed by t'lion
One day up at Blackpool, in t' zoo.

Pa wanted to know 'ow they did it,
And what manager offered to pay.
"It seems that there's money in lions;
We might take our 'Erbert some day."

Now 'e'd twice tried to drown master 'Erbert,
But someow the lad wouldn't sink,
And 'e couldn't try anything messy,
For fear of what neighbors might think.

This 'Erb was a 'oly young terror,
There was nowt that that lad wouldn't do:
One day 'e burnt 'oles in 'is sister
With a poker... to let daylight through.

And 'e laughed when 'is mother said, "'Erbert,
You mustn't do that to Kathleen;
And take Pussy off fire this instant!"
Then Father appeared on the scene.

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