"Oh, dear, dear!" said Mother, much brighter,
"If 'e's gone, there's no use to make fuss.
Sit down, I've the tea on the table,
There's a nice pair of kippers for us."

Next day, the man from insurance,
Called round at the 'ouse about nine,
And says 'e, "Your son, 'Erbert Pinwinkle
Is, so 'am told, down a mine."

"That is sad, very sad," 'e continued,
"There is only one thing left to do."
('Ere 'e pulled out a big bag of money)
"There's fifteen pound coming to you.'

Just then all the church bells start ringing,
And cannon went bang! by the score,
With motor cars 'ooting and 'onking,
So they rushed to the window and saw...

 

A great big procession was coming,
With everyone cheering like mad,
And there, in a carriage with Mayor
Was 'Erbert Pinwinkle, their lad!

Then neighbor shouts up `Ere, Pinwinkle,
'Ave you 'eard what your 'Erbert 'as done?
'E climbed down the mine-shaft past Polton,
And fetched up the mayor's kidnapped son.

'They'd 'idden 'im down there for safety,
But 'Erbert, 'e 'ad an idea,
So 'e crawled down the mine-shaft with airgun,
And shot the kidnapper in ear.

"Then 'e brings the lad back to 'is father,
Who thanks 'im for what 'e 'as done,
And we're all getting up a subscription
For 'Erbert, the 'ero... your son.

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