Then up stepped the umpires, four burly men
'Oo looked very rough and unkind,
But before 'Erb got through, two were screaming with rage
And both of the others resigned.

So they sent for judge Landis 'oo came straightaway
All judicial with 'air white as snow,
And 'e said, "It's illegal, 'Erb, give up the bag."
But 'Erb cleared 'is throat and said, "No."

They sent for the Mayor, the Governor, too,
But they just discussed ways and means.
To the White 'Ouse they sent an emergency call
And the President sent the Marines.

But 'Erbert was adamant, 'Erbert was firm,
Though they talked themselves deaf, dumb and blind.
'E 'ad stolen third base and considered it 'is
And nothing would alter 'is mind.

The Yankees said if 'e'd just lend them the base
They'd make 'im their mascot for life,
And one of the Cubs said 'ed give all 'e 'ad
Including three kids and a wife.
But 'Erb shook 'is 'ead and the deadlock went on,
Whatever they said, 'e said, "No,"
And dinnertime came and dinnertime went,
And everything stayed status quo.

There was nothing to do but just call the thing off,
For darkness was starting to fall,
And everyone there 'ad gone 'ome in disgust
And it was too dark to play ball.

And so if you look through the records you'll see
Although it seems rather absurd
The World Series ended that year in a tie
Because young 'Erb Pinwinkle stole third.
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