Paul Gerard Smith

  Now, General 'Orate Fitz Morris McCoy
Was proud of 'is personal charm,
A freckle, a 'angnail, a 'air out of place
To 'im was a cause for alarm.

For 'e loved the ladies, the ladies loved 'im,
And 'e wanted to keep it that way,
And for personal beauty, good clothes and good 'ealth
There was nothink that 'e wouldn't pay.

One week-end 'e woke up a bubble of joy,
'E sang as 'e dunked in 'is tub,
For 'e'd been invited to spend the week-end
At the 'ome of the Countess of Chubb.

'E put on 'is undies, 'e pulled on 'is socks
'Is trousis and best scarlet coat,
And tidied 'is 'air and 'is mustache,
and stood In front of the mirror to gloat.

Then all of a sudden 'e stifled a scream
At the sight of the tinest speck,
For 'e knew in 'is 'eart that the speck was the start
Of a boil on the back of 'is neck.
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