Whereupon 'e would let out a bloodcurdling yell
And 'is 'ead filled with fireworks and wheels,
For the 'ot bottle took the boil out by the roots,
And the roots ran right down to 'is 'eels.

So Sam found a bottle that 'eld 'arf an ounce,
'E knew it would not do at all.
It was all right for privates and sergeants and such
But for Generals it was too small.

Then 'e found a pint bottle, and then found a quart
But 'e tossed them aside with the rest
For a General's very important, you know,
'E rates what is largest and best.

Sam was at a loss until 'e chanced to spy
The beautiful five-gallon flask
That dispensed distilled water for sojers to drink
Now what more could anyone ask?

So 'e 'eated it up as 'e'd seen mother do
And said, "General, let's get to work.
The 'ot bottle cure is quite painless you know,
Just one sharp, but definite jerk."

McCoy said, "I'll chance it," and bent down 'is 'ead
Indicating the sore spot to Sam.
Sam slammed on the bottle.
The General's scream Was 'eard as far as Siam.

For something went wrong; Sam 'ad not figured on
The sooction 'is bottle would make;
But when 'e saw the General's 'ead pop inside
'E knew 'e 'ad made a mistake.

Sam, quick as a wink, grabbed McCoy by the 'eels
And pulled, but the harder 'e tried
McCoy folded up like a wet weary towel
And was sucked like an oyster inside.

'Twas all very sudden, one moment McCoy
'Ad been standing right there beside Sam;
It gave Sam quite a start to see 'Orate McCoy
All bottled up neatly, like jam.

Well, Sam was discouraged, but what could 'e do?
'E carried it through like a man,
'E wended 'is way to the Countess of Chubb
Rang the bell, dropped the bottle and ran.

Continue Return