And 'anded it in to the man at the gate
And the man stared at it with a frown
And as Sam started joyously through 'e said, "Wait...
Your entrance is seven gates down."

So Sam took 'is ticket and elbowed 'is way
Through the crowd, and it wosn't much fun.
As 'e 'eld out 'is ticket a roar from inside
Told Sam that the game 'ad begun.

The man took 'is ticket and Sam started in
With a 'eart full of joy and delight
The man said, "This is W gate on the left
You want W gate on the right."

With cheers from the crowd ringing loud in 'is ears
'E tried every gate 'e could find
And when 'e found the right one the quarter wos done
And Sam wos 'alf out of 'is mind.

Sam dashed through the gate and 'e 'anded 'is stub
To the very first usher 'e spied
The usher looked at it and said, "Tunnel Nine
That's round on the opposite side."

Sam grabbed the stub and 'e ran like a deer
That 'ad sat on some 'ot turpentine
The man said, "Your ticket." Sam said, " 'Ere it is
And don't tell me this ain't Tunnel Nine."

The man took 'is ticket and said, "You're okay
You want section seven... let's see,
This is section eighteen, you go right straight ahead
Down six, over seven, up three."

So Sam fought 'is way to another young man
And gave 'im 'is ticket, and then
The young man called another and gave 'im the stub
And it started all over again.

By and by, by some accident, Sam got a seat
'Is knees and 'is ankles wos skun
And just as 'e started to look at the game
'Ewos shocked by the sound of a gun.

"Well, there goes the 'alf," said the man just be'ind
For ten minutes Sam looked at a band
And some boys dressed in white making pictures with cards
Across in the opposite stand.

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