'E came to Philadelphia, a quiet sort of town,
And 'e stepped into a tavern for a snack
There 'e met a lot of patriotic Philadelphians
Patrick 'enry, Jefferson and Connie Mack.

'E treated them, they treated 'im, a jolly time was 'ad,
And by and by Sam's funds was getting low.
'E said, "I am a stranger 'ere, I need a job, me lad,
If theres any to be 'ad you ought to know."

Now Patrick 'enry's work was making speeches to a mob,
And when 'e faced a crowd, Sam died of fright,
And Jefferson?... well, writing constitutions was 'is job,
And the drawback there was Samuel couldn't write.

Well, they pondered and they puzzled and they 'it upon a plan
Just when Sam Small's future started looking black;
They said, "'Ow about Ben Franklin? 'E's a busy little man
'E gets out a book called Richard's Almanac.
  " 'E's got to 'ave somebody to distribute them about
And the postal service 'ere is pretty poor,
Do you think that you could do it?" Sam scratched 'is 'ead in doubt.
'E thought 'e could. 'E might. 'E wasn't sure.

Well, they bought 'im one more noggin, which encouraged 'im a lot,
And 'e said 'e thought 'e'd give the thing a try;
Then 'e took the bottle, 'ad another little shot,
Thanked them warmly, shook their 'ands, and said, "Goodbye!"

With 'is knapsack on 'is shoulders, Samuel plodded down the lane
And by and by it started getting warm,
Real muggy like and sooltry, then it started in to rain,
And Sam said, "I think we're going to 'ave a storm."

There 'e was with no umbrella, something that no Englishman
'As ever gone to take a walk without.
And when the lightning started, down the muddy road 'e ran
To try to find some shelter thereabout.
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