Paul Gerard Smith
  I've told you of 'ow old Sam Small got on the Pilgrims' ship
And was taken, quite by error, on an unexpected trip,
Which ended up at Plymouth Rock, where they made 'im disembark
With nothink but a toothbrush and a future that was dark.

'E did odd jobs for Pilgrims, fetching water, 'ewing wood
Till 'e became the 'andy man around the neighborhood.
'E watched the Pilgrims' children when the Pilgrims went to pray,
And pulled arrows from the Pilgrims for the balance of the day.

At gardening and things like that Sam Small was rather lax
But the Pilgrims all declared 'e wos a wizard with the axe:
Give 'im an axe, point out a tree, and give 'im room to swing,
And 'e'd 'ave it chopped to kindling while you sang "God Save the King."
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