Paul Gerard Smith
  Now Mr. Roodyard Kipling wrote a lot of famous pomes
Of sojers'oo 'ad 'eard their country's call,
But of all the men in India 'oo 'ad left their 'appy 'omes
The one 'e overlooked was Samuel Small.

You can talk of Gungha Din till the cows come romping in
And 'ang Danny Deever seven times a day,
But the stubbornest of all was our old friend Samuel Small
'Oo was last seen on the Road to Mandalay.

Now, Sam joined the Army when 'e was a tyke,
'E was gawky and clumsy and slim,
And the Sergeant to Sam took an instant dislike,
And Sam learned about Sergeants from 'im.

On discipline Sergeant was somewhat a nut
And 'e started on Sam right away;
"When I speak, my good man, there's no if, and, or but
When I command, you obey."
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