He thowt it were t'garden of Eden.
An' Adie began to explore.
The dampness were good for 'is asthma,
But 'is armour were soon rusted o'er.

To t'coast he now med 'is way westward
An' 'is fost glance o' t'wild Irish sea,
After 'alf an 'our paddlin' an' playin' on t'sands
He popped into Blackpoo' for tea.

When they'd 'ad pomme de terre fried i' drippin'
An' a cod that were t'size of a whale
Adie sez to some cohorts in th'army,
"'Owz abaht tryin' out t'local ale?"

Adies men thowt 'is idea splendid
An' so piled in a pub where therein,
Loads o' folk were all singin' an' swearin'
In an accent that didn't fit in.

When Adie fanged 'old of t'landlady
An' asked who this rowdy lot were?
He were towd they were Scots from the northland
"You can tell wi' their kilts an' red 'air."
  Adie asked if the north men were fierce
An' what they were like in a feight?
The landlady laffed, "If you want to find out
Come back 'ere durin' Glasgow fortneight!"

As t'Romans trooped back to their lodgin's
A plan grew in 'adrians mind,
He'd build a great wall from t'west o'er to th'east
That'd keep all that rough lot behind.

When he got up next mornin' he started
To recruit all the folk he would need,
For t'designin an' planning an' buildin',
So 'is dream of a wall could succeed.

Aulos Platorious Nepos,
Were t'chap put in charge o' the men,
Who'd chase out the Scots an' put up 'is wall
So they couldn't get back in again.

Owd Nepos jumped into 'is chariot
An' straightway shot off up th'M6,
Takin' George a surveyor fray Bispham,
Some string an' a bundle o' sticks.

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