"Tek nobby the pig, mi new hoe an' scythe,
An' hide 'em in t'bushes near t'shed.

Soon, Norm as Joe called 'im were sittin'
On upturned pail mekkin his notes
On the size of 'is 'ouse an' small'oldin'
An' t'number o' cattle an' goats.

"'Ow much will you sting us wi' t'taxes,"
Shouted Joe wi' a bit of a roar.
"As much as is fair I suspect." muttered Norm.
Joe sez "Aye, an' I've heard that afore."

After notin' all t'stock on 'is vellum,
In a hand that were splendid an' lush.
Norm were ready to climb on 'is cart an' depart
When he heard a loud grunt from a bush.

"Quesque c'est in the undergrowth gruntin'?"
The assessor demanded to know.
"It were Gilbert mi lad an' 'is sinus,
Blow your nose lad then t'Norman can go!"

When Gilbert stepped out from the bushes,
With hanky an' sniffin on cue,
The Norman said, "Reight I'll be off then,
You'll soon know what taxes is due?"
  Joe were quite suited wi' trick that he'd played,
But 'is missus became rather vexed.
"If they find out folks cheatin' th'assessors,
They'll be bringin' a poll tax out next?"

Into t'neighbourin, village rolled Norman,
to visit 'is next port o' call.
A ramb-e-ling alehouse at th'end o' the street,
Wi' a blue whippet painted on t'wall.

The landlord stepped out to greet t'wagon,
Wi' what Norman suspected were t'spouse,
He were nobbut eight stone drippin' watter,
But 'is missus were built like an 'ouse.

"I 'ave come to assess your belongings,
On his Majesty's William's behalf."
While the landlady lifted 'im down from 'is cart,
Whisp'rin', "This should be good for a laugh?"

"I think we may start with t'provisions,
Like your ale an' your pies, an' no doubt.
I'll sample a flagon or deux if I may
'Cause I've heard ale's tres bien hereabouts?"

So Phoebe as t'landlady liked to be known,
Poured Norman a jug of her best,
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