Peter Bamford

  Part I

I'll tell you of Henry Tudor,
Or th'eighth as he's commonly known.
O' t'deeds that he did an' t'wives that he wed,
An' t'seeds th'owd beggar sown.

He came onto t'throne in 1509,
An' straightway he wanted a missus.
T'palace were 'eavin wi' ladies an' such,
All winkin' an' blowin' 'im kisses.

He didn't know which way to turn poor lad,
Of t'beauties there were quite a throng.
There were duchesses, countesses, ladies in waitin',
Who looked like they wouldn't wait long?

He demanded that Wolsey, his Lord Chancellor,
"For a bride you must scour mi land!"
Wolsey said "half a mo', your kids widda's outside,
If you don't mind thi Queen second hand?"

"Go on then" said 'enry, "I'll give 'er a do
These suitors are getting' a pain,
But by the way Wolsey, what's t'lasses full title?"
"Its Catherine of ...somewhere in Spain!"
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