To Cromwell King 'enry ruth-less-ly declared,
"I need some more back up for t'weed!"

Cromwell set off wi' a new task to find,
A suitable lass for the throne.
While 'Enry sat waitin' in anticipation,
Earl of Essex 'ad plans of 'is own.

Part III.

Cromwell now drew up t'legislation,
That parted the crown from the Pope,
But he needed a deal wi' t'Germans,
To give pro-test-ant-ism more scope.

To t'Duke of Cleves, he penned a letter,
O' th'advantages he foresaw.
An alliance 'gainst Pope an' 'is empire,
Wi' king 'Enry as 'is son-in-law.

So, on Thomas's recommendation,
Anne of Cleves 'and 'Enry did take.
Sadly, soon as he lifted 'er yashmak in t'church.
He knew that he'd med a mistake.

He were scared by th'appearance o' t'woman,
But to wed 'er he saw as a duty.
  Cromwell did assure 'im that where she come from,
Black teeth were a sign o' great beauty.

After all of six month she were pensioned,
'Enry claimed that "Enough is enough!"
Cromwell stated her beauty were "stormy".
'Enry laughed, "Bugger off, you mean rough?"

Marriage to Cleves were swiftly annulled
An' Cromwell said sorry for t'lapse,
But 'Enry towd Tom he 'ad plans for the man.
"So don't order any new 'ats!"

Next in t'line it were Catharine Howard,
Who Archbishop Crammer had thought
Were unchaste so he went an' towd 'enry, who said,
"I'm not bothered o'er chaste, were she caught?"

She must 'ave upset Thomas Cranmer,
Who kept 'avin' a dig at 'er 'onour.
It didn't help not givin' 'Enry a son,
So as Boleyn, she were a gonner!

All this weddin' lark got our 'Enery down,
An' a toll on 'is 'ealth it did take.
A toll on th'exchequer as well, truth bi known,
Costin' six thousand sov's just for t'cake.
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