It were said t'King were 'ooked onto t'nuptials,
Or at least it were common perception.
It weren't really t'weddin's that 'Enery liked,
But th'unnymoons an' all t'receptions.

One day when at Lords watchin' t'cricket,
He decided to go six o' best,
But she needed to be an all rounder
Wi' a much better av'rage than t'rest.

Lass were brought forward named Catharine Parr,
Who'd 'ad previous husbands hersel'.
The king remarked how well she looked for 'er age.
She replied, "It were 'appen as well!"

Well he wasn't to know but 'is sixth were 'is last,
For a couple o' year after they wed.
One night she felt 'Enrys cowd feet in 'er back,
But it weren't just 'is feet, he were dead.

So one of 'is wives 'ad outlived 'im at last.
P'raps the one that he fon to bi cuddly?
He weren't in 'is grave long before she upped sticks,
And married Lord Seymour of Dudley.

But what of 'is childer an' 'ow did they fare?
Did any stand out above t'rest?
Or were they as childer 'ave bin for all time,
A set of obnoxious young pests?

Edward 'is son took t'throne at age ten,
But snuffed it on reachin' sixteen.
'Is biggest mistake was in listenin' to t'dukes,
An' namin' Jane Grey as next queen.

Mary were crowned in 1553,
An' wed Philip o' Spain t'followin' year,
Her particular passion were 'avin' burnt stakes.
Wi' people tied to 'em we hear?

Queen Elizabeth ruled nigh on 46 year,
In which time she ne'er give a damn,
For t'counsel of lords who compelled 'er to wed.
An' so kept 'er 'ead better than mam?

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