ELSIE BOSSING
by Peter Hart Recited by Cyril Fletcher as part of a series of televised road safety films, in the 1960s. This is the tale of Elsie Bossing Who would not use a proper crossing. Each time she crossed a busy road Danger was added to her load. Without a glance she stepped right out Accompanied by an angry shout. Drivers, who, with reddened faces Told her to cross at proper places. 'I don't need pelicans' she cried Or zebras to reach the other side. Oh very well... but in my view They're better off in a blinkin' zoo. One luckless day she went too far, And stepped in front of a sports car. Poor Elsie's rear, the bumper caught And lo! She turned a somersault. Eventually landing like a sack Her language blue, her bottom black. "You soppy guy" she upped and cried "You've fair churned up my whole inside, You drivers think you own the road Why don't you read the Highway Code" Though Elsie suffered slight contusion The driver's thoughts were in confusion. Was it he or she who was to blame He prepared to hang his head in shame. Then further up the road was seen Two beacons with zebra stripes, between. And then he knew who was at fault It was the one who's rear he'd caught. "Madam," he cried, "I'm very sorry' You're luck this car was not a lorry. If you had walked a few yards more Your safety would have been made sure. There are pelicans, zebras, subways too Traffic lights, foot-bridges, all for you. If they're not provided, don't dismay Cross where you can see either way. It's better to cross at the proper spot Than finish up flat, upon your bot." Elsie stood and thought awhile, Then her face broke in a smile. "You're right young man, I have been silly By crossing the highway, willy-nilly. From now on I'll take more care when crossing Or my name's not Elsie Botting. My outlook will be much more cheerier And less painful for my posterier. Now life for Elsie's no longer a bind, She crosses all roads with safety in mind. With care and respect at the proper place Crossing the road with a smile on her face. The moral of this tale is quite clear To cross safely, without fear From John-O-Groats down to Lands-End Follow Elsie's reformed trend.
The end