THE DAY WAR BROKE OUT
by
Robb Wilton

  The day war broke out, my missus looked at me and she said, "What good are you?"
I said, "How d'y' mean, what good am I?"
"Well," she said, "you're too old for the army, you couldn't get into the navy and they wouldn't have you in the Air Force, so what good are you?"
I said, "I'll do something!"
She said, "What?"
I said, "How do I know...? I'll have to think."
She said, "I don't know how that's going to help you, you've never done it before, so what good are you?"
I said, "Don't keep saying 'what good am I." I said, "There'll be munitions!"
She said, "Now, 'ow can you go on muni..."
I said, "I never said anything about going on... I said, there'll be some!"
"Well," she said, all the young fella's will be getting called up." and she said, "And you'll have to go back to work!"
Ooh!!! she's got a cruel tongue.
"Anyway, I don't have to go back to work... I'm a lamplighter."
Oh, and then she said, "Our 'Arry..." she said, "Our 'Arry is sure to be getting called up." and she said,
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