Goodnight Everybody, Goodnight
by
Robb Wilton
Since I bought a portable wireless set
I'm losing my reason, I'm sad... I'm insane
The announcer announces, 'The outlook's unsettled.'
And tonight he'll announce it again.
I want the news and the kids want the jazz
The lodger wants peace so he gives it the razz
The one thing that pleases and puts us all right
Is, 'Goodnight, everybody, good night.'

I went to a pals house last Saturday night
He's Irish, he's proud and fond of a fight
They switched on the wireless... a talk on home rule
My pal got excited and couldn't keep cool.
The speaker said something... he didn't agree
Lashed out at the wireless, missed it and hit me
Then the voice said, 'Now, Mr Snowdon will recite.'
I said, 'Good night everybody, good night.' 

Everyone says that old England's in need
Of a real British fighter of championship breed
Well, I wasn't going to see old England stuck
I said, 'I'll have a go to get her out of a ruck!'
They said, 'You fight Canerros, go in and win!'
To the thousands of people who were all listening in
Good night, everybody, good night.

Once on a trip round the world as a foreman
I stopped at the city of 'Salt', with a Mormon
Now they're the fellows who lead decent lives
They know how to argue... they've got hundreds of wives.
Although 'Salt Lake' is the name of the city they've got
You can take it from me, they're mustard, they're hot
Just fancy... each evening, what a bit of alright
Saying, 'Good night, everybody, good night.' 

I went to a theatre, a short while ago
There were Seventeen murders... all in the same show.
I sat in the gallery all on my own
There were two in the stalls... just us three, all alone.
Well, you'd have thought seventeen murders for anyone, plenty
But the villain said, 'Curse it... I'll make it twenty!'
I thought, 'Two in the stalls and me... makes it right!!!
Good night, everybody, good night.
        
The end