(A Lancashire Ballad)
Robert William Service

  Says I to my Missis, "Ba goom, lass!
You've something, I see, on your mind."
Says she, "You are right, Sam, I've something.
But it 'appens it's on me be'ind.
A Boil as 'ud make Job be jealous.
It 'urts me no end when I sit."
Says I: "Go to 'ospittel, Missis.
The might 'ave to coot it a bit"
Says she: "I just 'ate to be showin'
The part of me person it's at."
Says I, "Don't be fussy; them doctors
See sights far more 'orrid that that."

So Missis goes off togged up tasty,
And there at the 'ospittel door
They tells 'er to see the 'ouse Doctor,
'Oose office is Room Thirty-four.
So she 'unts up and down till she finds it,
And knocks and a voice says, "Come in,"
And there is a 'andsome young feller,
In white from 'is 'eels to 'is chin.
"I've got a boil," says my Missis.
"It 'urts me for fair when I sit,
And Sam (that's me 'usband) 'as asked me,
To ask you to coot it a bit."
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