JOHNNIE! ME AND YOU.
by
Corney Grain (1907)

Oh! Johnnie! 'ere's a dinner party
Look at all them things!
Oh! look at all them dishes
Wot that powder'd footman brings!
Well if they eat all that there food
'Ow poorly they will be!
'Ere jump upon my back Johnnie!
Now then you can see!
Oh! Johnnie! look at that ole gent,
They've took 'is plate away!
Afore e's finished 'arf 'is food,
That is a game to play!
No! that ain't beer they're drinkin' of
Not likely, why that's fizz!
Oh! look at that great pink thing there,
That's salmon fish, that is!
I think there's some mistake 'ere Johnnie!
We ain't arst tonight!
We could a-pick'd a bit eh! Johnnie?
We've got the appetite!
Seein' all that food there
Makes yer 'ungry, that it do!
We ain't 'ad no dinner-parties lately!
Johnnie! me and you!
Oh! Johnnie! look at that old gal,
With only 'arf a gown,
The h'ice she's swaller'd must 'ave cost,
Ah! well nigh 'arf a crown.
She's 'avin 'arf a quartern now,
And wants it, that she do,
When I've eaten too much h'ice myself,
I've 'ad that feelin' too!
Oh! Johnnie! they've pulled down the blind,
I call it nasty mean.
They're all ashamed that's wot they is,
Ashamed o' bein' seen.
A-eatin' all that food like that,
'Tain't decent, that it 'ain't!
We wouldn't pull no blinds down
If we'd 'arf o' their complaint!
So come along, let's orf it, Johnnie,
Orf it to the Strand,
Now don't yer go a cryin' Johnnie,
'Ere give me your 'and.
'Ungry, Johnnie, so am I. We'll get a brown or two
A-callin' "Keb or Kerridge, Capt'in!
Johnnie! me and you!